i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
