Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
