On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize