ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Randomize
