I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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