i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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