After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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