Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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