butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
