It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
