I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
