You're completely useless in the revolution.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
