I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
