So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Even my vagina gasped.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
