we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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