First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
