i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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