DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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