I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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