is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
