Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
