so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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