I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
