You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
