u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
