Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
