Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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