My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize