Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
