His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
where does the pee come out of this thing
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
