Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
