that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Randomize
