Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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