I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
