Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
