Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
