Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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