Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize