Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
