Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
