i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
