The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
