history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
