you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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