For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize