So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
