question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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