Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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