He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
