Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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