You're my little dorito
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
