you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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