How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
