He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
