When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
