so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
