You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
