OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he shaved USA in his pubs
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
