Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
