i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
