exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
