no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
